Writing a Letter to an Addict You Love

How to Write a Letter to a Loved One Struggling With Addiction

Seeking treatment is a gigantic step during the recovery journey. Many addicts never accept treatment, while others do and go on to live a life of sobriety. You never know what kind of message is going to get through. But writing a letter to an addict you love can help push them in the right direction.

What is an intervention letter? It can be a life-saving message to someone struggling with addiction. It’s a way to express your concern for a loved one dealing with substance abuse. Sometimes it’s easier to write down your feelings than it is to bring it up in a conversation. A lot of addicts may not want to be confronted in person. An intervention letter can be a helpful way to get through to them. It’s something they can ingest on their terms, at their own pace.

How Do I Write The Perfect Intervention Letter?

Finding the right words can be difficult. It’s important to remember that even if you write the best intervention letter ever written, it might still be met with resistance. Ultimately, the addict is the only one that can seek treatment. You aren’t going to pressure anyone into getting professional help.

I will share a very personal intervention letter that I wrote to my brother, who has since gotten treatment at South Shores Detox and Recovery. This might give you an idea of how to draft your own intervention letter. You can also take a look online for a sample letter to help you get started.

Understanding How Addiction Works

Before I share my letter, I want to stress that you should educate yourself a little bit in order to have the proper perspective. Addiction is all-consuming. The drugs or alcohol are the escape, and for a lot of addicts, they feel it’s all they have. You can’t rip the rug out from under them right away. Writing an intervention letter requires a delicate balance of being stern but understanding.

An addict doesn’t want to listen to someone who has no knowledge of addiction. If they know that you have done your research or been through it yourself, they might be more likely to listen. I made sure to do my homework before I even began writing my letter. With a little bit more understanding, I was ready to write the perfect letter.

So with all that being said, what follows is the exact letter that I wrote my brother. Hopefully, this gives you some ideas for your own letters. Just remember that getting help is up to the person addicted. With that in mind, you can at least be at peace knowing you did everything you could. Here is my letter:

A Call For Help: Helping A Family Member Accept Treatment

Dear brother, I have watched you destroy yourself for long enough and I can no longer sit back and watch. Your substance abuse is killing you, and it is also destroying our relationship. I fear that your addiction has gotten so bad that it requires medical treatment in order to fix it. I think you are past the point of quitting on your own.

I know that you have tried treatment in the past, and I am hopeful that you will give it another shot. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt to make something work. I know that you are a strong and resilient person, and if you put your mind to it you can absolutely get your life back on track.

It takes courage to admit you have a problem. I understand that there may be a lot of shame involved, but no one in our family will judge you for this. The way I see it, you are simply sick and in need of help. I know for a fact that you aren’t trying to hurt yourself or others. You are a good person at heart.

I have seen not only what your addiction has done to you, but everyone around you including myself. It is tearing the family apart and you don’t seem to be doing anything to rectify the situation. You know that this is a problem, and there are things you can do to make it better. But don’t do it for us. Do it for yourself.

If you decide not to seek help, I will not enable you any longer. I will not borrow you any money. I won’t give you a place to stay because you got kicked out of your current living situation. I love you very much, but I cannot allow your addiction to infiltrate my life.

I need to set these healthy boundaries in order to protect myself. It’s not personal. It kills me to do it, but I feel like it’s the only power I have in this situation. Please accept help and be the person that I know you can be. You’ve got this.

Compassion Is A Powerful Tool

My intervention letter may not be the most eloquent thing ever written, but it did get through to my brother. He checked himself into South Shores and has now been sober for nearly a year. He still struggles at times, but he has made it a priority to stay clean. Substance use disorder doesn’t just go away after treatment. It’s something you need to work on regularly.

The best advice I can give is to be compassionate. Making a loved one feel attacked is not a good tactic. You have to put yourself in your loved one’s shoes. If you put too much pressure or use confrontational language, it will not work out. You can be compassionate and also set boundaries in the process. Be stern, not mean.

The Path To Recovery Is Not Perfect

Everyone’s addiction looks a little bit different. Addiction can come in many forms and happen at weird times. The assumption is that people end up being addicts because they are at a low point in life. That’s not always the case. In my brother’s case, things were going quite well for him at the time he started abusing drugs. He had just bought a house. He had a good job.

However, the stress of the job and keeping up with the bills created an uncomfortable situation. The only escape he felt he had was getting high. Slowly but surely, getting high became the most important thing to him. Before he knew it, he lost everything.

How Substance Abuse Affects Families

Drug and alcohol abuse affects more people than just the addict. There is no worse feeling than watching a loved one destroy their life and not being able to do anything about it. We all create our own destiny. If you’ve tried everything, and your loved one is still addicted, it can be very tough to reconcile and make peace with it.

The best thing to remember is there is only so much you can do. You are not responsible for anyone else’s life. Your quality of life can be greatly affected by an addicted loved one. It can start to bleed into your life and your happiness. This is especially true if you enable them.

I gave my brother a lot of money over the years because I felt bad for him. I wanted to believe that he was going to use it for rent or food, but I knew deep down it all went to drugs. I ended up going into debt as a result of constantly trying to help him out. It threw a huge wrench into my own life, and I finally got sick of it.

There Have To Be Consequences

When you enable an addict, you are unwittingly helping them stay addicted. Nobody gets clean unless they face some kind of consequences. You should never get between an addict and their bottom. Sometimes it takes crashing and burning so that you can rebuild your life. This was the case with my brother.

I stuck to my word, and I stopped supporting him and his addiction. I didn’t give him money or a place to stay. I didn’t stop speaking to him, but I was very clear that I would not be helping him out unless he made an effort to clean up his act. He tried to make me feel bad about it, but I had put my foot down and wasn’t budging. It was time for me to take care of myself and my own affairs.

It didn’t take long before he ended up at South Shores for treatment. It was the greatest news I ever got when I found out he was in rehab. I had a good feeling about it, unlike the previous times he tried to get clean. He didn’t disappoint. He was finally making an effort to address some things he had been running from. He gave it everything he got.

Great Things Happen To People Who Put In The Work

The difference between those who get clean short term vs. long term is the amount of work you put in. You can’t just go to treatment and expect them to fix your life for you. There is a lot of work that needs to be put in after treatment. My brother went to group therapy on a regular basis. He committed himself to sobriety. He ended relationships that weren’t benefiting him. He put in the work, and it paid off.

Today, he is slowly getting back to where he was before his addiction. He is working and avoiding any temptations that might set him back. Great things are happening, and it isn’t by accident. I encourage him every chance I get. I make it a point to tell him how great he’s doing. I couldn’t be prouder. He took a personal failing and turned it around completely.

Lasting Recovery Is There If You Want It: Contact South Shores!

Sometimes in life, we all need a second chance. We need people in our corner. We need people who will tell us what we need to hear, even if it’s uncomfortable. Not only is my brother doing well in recovery, I see him trying to actively help others. By helping others, you set a great example for others. He has made me want to be a better person.

Thanks to South Shores, my brother has his life back and is actively participating in life unlike he ever had before. It was a long, hard road but he pulled it off, and he is still pulling it off. He knows just as well as anyone else that it’s a process, and staying on the straight and narrow takes effort. If you have a family member or loved one who is addicted, do them a favor and let them know why they are worth the fight.